Your Guide to Writing Original Wedding Vows

Original wedding vows are words you put together to make your feelings known for your spouse. Wedding vows are statements of love, that you are willing to spend your life together, and these words are your own to express how you feel about spending the rest of your days helping each other through life. Writing your own vows can be a little difficult if you are nervous about what to say, but you will find that you can write your vows if you concentrate from your heart.

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Drafting Your Wedding Vows

Where will you come up with the ideas to write your vows? You need to sit down with a sheet of paper or at your computer when you are feeling most loved, after making love, or after spending the day together with the person you will be marrying. This is when your feelings are fresh, and expressing them with words will seem easiest.

Writing words to express your feelings will be original additions for your wedding day. In using vows that you write yourself, you are telling the other person just how special they are, because you took the time to write down exactly what your hopes, dreams, and feelings are when talking about your lives together.

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Your true emotions will be expressed in words you want to say to the other person. Don’t try to impress those who are in the church or those who are watching the ceremony but only think about talking to your spouse and the entire process will be easier for you.

How should you get started in writing your own wedding vows? Original words of love are points you want to include in what you will be saying. Remember whispering sweet things in your love’s ear about how you want to hold him/her all night long? Take that feeling and express it in ways that tell your spouse this. Write words that are not taken from other weddings. Using words that are every thing, you have ever wanted to tell him/her but you have never found the time to say aloud.

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It Has To Come From The Heart

Write original words that are letters from your heart. I love you, I need you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want to share everything in my life with you. I will be there in the good times and in the bad times, I want to be your crutch through life just as I need you to be the shoulder I cry on at the end of the day.

Make your vows words that express just how you hurt when you aren’t near the one you love, but that you hurt because you love this person that much. Original wedding vows are expressions of yourself and you can say it plainly in words that you have said time and again, or you can surprise your loved one by creating stories about how much you love them, and how you are going to spend the rest of your life showing them how much you love them.

Wedding Dresses

Ever since I was a little girl, I loved wedding dresses. I used to sneak into my mom’s closet to look at her wedding dress when she wasn’t home. She had no problem with showing it to me, but if she had known how many hours I spent practically drooling over it, she probably would have freaked out a bit. I had pretty childish tastes back then – unsurprising because I was a child. I loved wedding gowns because they looked so soft and fluffy. They were like cakes, and they made whoever wore them look halfway between a princess and a pastry. I could not get enough.

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Back when I was buying discount wedding dresses at thrift stores and wearing them to the school with various punk rock modifications to shock my teachers, I never dreamed that one day I would be a wedding designer. You see, as much as I loved wedding dresses, I wasn’t particularly enamored of weddings. I was very independent, and I couldn’t imagine spending my entire life with one boy, raising kids, and living in a boring suburban corner of the world like my parents did. I wanted action and adventure. I wanted to be a mountain climber or a park ranger, or perhaps a professional photographer. One thing I didn’t want to be was a bride.

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Nonetheless, I was still impressed with bridal fashion. I loved when I got to see outdoor weddings at the local park. We lived by a gorgeous state park complete with the rivers, lakes, and beautiful rolling hills. There was a small wedding chapel there, and they would frequently rent it out. My boyfriend at the time must have thought I was giving him messages! I made him sit there with me all afternoon, watching the wedding party. Perhaps he thought I had dreams of long-term romance, but such thoughts were furthest from my mind. I was interested in it purely from a fashion perspective.

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Now that I am getting ready for my own wedding, I am struck by how different the experience is from that of helping other people get ready for there big day. Designing wedding dresses is easy. Although there are vintage designs, modern designs, classic designs, and many other variations, it doesn’t amount to all that much variety. There are only a few things to keep track of, and if you appreciate the clothes it is easy. Picking out one for yourself, however, is another matter. It is probably the hardest part is getting married.

Your Wedding Countdown

This is intended as a guide to help you plan the essential elements in the count down to the wedding day. Organise everything in advance and everything should go smoothly and seek help from family, close friends and professionals.

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One year before your wedding

·First things first, set the special date and arrange a time with the priest, minister or registrar.

·Discuss in full detail your plans with the person who will be performing the ceremony.

·Decide on a budget and stick to it.

·Remember to suit the ceremony to your budget, and to both your personal tastes and wishes.

·Talk it all out now!

·Decide on the type of ceremony, type of reception and hoe many guests will attend.

·Choose your venue and arrange a meeting with the people in charge.

·This goes for hotels, caterers, musicians (for the ceremony, the reception) etc.

·Plan your wedding cake, cars, photographer and florist.

·Think about wedding clothes and costumes, particularly your bridal dress, colors, fabrics and accessories.

·Remember you will probably want a color scheme and a style that carries throughout the day so talk your plans through with the your dressmaker, florist and caterer.

·Both of you should book in for a pre-marriage course. Start thinking about your honeymoon.

Six months before the wedding

·Order wedding stationery, cake boxes, and favours.

·Discuss the order of the service with the person performing the ceremony and decide on service sheets for guests.

·Discuss your wedding menu with your caterers/hotelier.
·Decide on a wedding present list.

·Choose the rings.

·A doctor and dentist check up is a good idea.

·Plan inoculations for your honeymoon if necessary.

·Organise visas, passports etc.

·Think about your ‘going away’ attire and clothes for your honeymoon

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Three months before the wedding

·Make sure you have all the appropriate pre-marriage documents and certificates.

·Finalise details of your color scheme, bouquets, buttonholes with the florist.

·Finalise the wedding guest list and have the invitations sent.
·Remember to keep a careful track of replies.

·Choose gifts for the best man, bridesmaids and attendants.

·Arrange accommodation for attendants and advise travelling guests of the rates for your hotel.

A month before the wedding

·Organise the final fittings for your dress and for the bridesmaids.

·On the day of your final fittings make sure all the bridesmaids are wearing the same shoes that they intend to wear on the big day.

·Finalise fittings for the groom and best man.
·Have a hair and make-up rehearsal.

·On the day of the hair and make-up rehearsal remember to bring the head-dress with you for the experts opinion.

·Finalise seating arrangements for the church and wedding reception.

·Plan the wedding rehearsal with the priest, minister or registrar.

·Eat properly for the next few weeks, you will need all your energy with all the running around you will be doing.

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A fortnight to go

·Arrange your honeymoon and going away clothes, including passports, tickets and visas.

·Now is the time to arrange travellers’ cheques, insurance, car hire and all other documentation.

·Give advice to the hotelier of the approximate number of quests for the reception.

·Plan the table setting, place cards and linen etc.

·Finalise details with the florist, photographer and caterers.

·Try all your wedding clothes on and make sure all fits correctly and all is comfortable.

A week to go

·Have the wedding rehearsal.

·Nominate someone to look after the wedding dress and the groom’s outfit after the wedding.

·Wrap all the gifts for the bridesmaids, best man and attendants.

·Arrange all fees for the church or registrar, musicians (best man should do these).

·Do one last check on all documentation required including passports for the honeymoon.

·Give all documentation to the best man for safe keeping.

Two days before the wedding

·Confirm your final guest list to your hotelier.

·Make sure the wedding cake is fine and arrange all transport to and from your reception.

The day before

Have a manicure and pedicure, a long hot bath and an early night

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The Big Day

·Relax.

·Have a good breakfast.

·Get your hair and make up done.

·Give yourself plenty of time to reach the church or registrar and always allow for the last minute hiccup.

Have a fantastic day to remember

Your Personal Wedding Invitations

When planning your wedding, leave sufficient time to consider the invitations. The look of them, the wording of them, the intent behind their presentation—all send a message to the recipients and set the tone for the wedding itself.

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Traditional wording for your wedding invitations would be something like this:

Mr. & Mrs. John White
Request the honor of your presence
To witness the bonding together
Of their daughter Evelyn Linda White
And
Mr. Michael Warren Jessop
Son of Mr. And Mrs. Winston Jessop

This would, of course, be followed by the particulars.

A less formal approach might read something like this:

Evelyn Linda White
And
Michael Warren Jessop
Invite you to witness
Their vows of love
On their wedding day.
(And so on…)

There is nothing inherently right or wrong about a formal versus a casual approach to your wedding invitations. That decision simply depends on the scale of the event.

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There are situations when it would be appropriate to include the invitation to the wedding reception with the wedding invitation. At other times, it would be more prudent to create a separate invitation for both events.

A separate invitation to the reception only might look like this:

Evelyn Linda White
And
Mr. Michael Warren Jessop
Request the pleasure of your company
At their wedding reception,
Sunday, the tenth of June
3:00 P.M.
St. Andrew’s Church
3268 Sixth Avenue

Black tie requested

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888 376-9882

Note: E-mail RSVPs are still not acceptable unless the event is informal. Also, there is rarely, if ever, a time when it would be appropriate to invite a guest to your wedding but not to your reception.

A fairly new accessory to the wedding and reception invitations is the “reply card.” This is simply a separate card included inside the invitation, with lines to be filled out. Etiquette requires you to provide a stamp on the reply card’s envelope.

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The rules are not as important, however, as your intention. If you put a little conscious energy into every phase of your wedding, including your invitations, you will manifest a clear and ringing expression of your love and commitment, and a beautiful memory for a lifetime.

Your Wedding Rings

The early Egyptians were convinced of the connection also, even going so far as to claim that the wedding ring finger is directly connected to the vein of love (vena amoris) that flows to the heart.

Ancient Greek and Roman cultures agreed that the vein in the wedding ring finger, also called the healing finger, runs directly to the heart.

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In the ancient art of hand reflexology, one of the areas corresponding to the heart is just under the spot where a wedding ring resides on the left, not the right, hand. Pure coincidence?

The wedding ring finger was the last touched by the priest when quoting the “Trinitarian” formula, “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.”

During the period of western Barbarianism, brides were more often than not kidnapped and held captive. It is thought that the wedding ring was used at that time to tie the bride to the home of her husband-to-be, or whoever happened to be guarding her at the moment…like a leash!

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The wedding ring of old was a promissory symbol. Since it represented a significant financial cost, it was something of a down payment by the groom, and deterred broken engagements (for which three years of excommunication was the punishment).

It is only recently that the custom of giving two wedding rings–an engagement and a separate wedding ring–has been widely adopted. Previously, the ring given in engagement was also used during the ceremony as the wedding ring itself.

A very practical reason for the placement of the wedding ring is the belief that it would be less likely to be broken, chipped or lost altogether if worn on the left hand.

But did you know that the wedding ring was not always worn on the left hand at all? There was a period when it was the custom to wear them on the right hand, and wealthy Elizabethans used their thumbs to display large, fancy rings!

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Superstitions and customs abound around wedding rings. Anyone might feel, for example, that it was a portent of ill omen if the ring were dropped before the wedding, and even worse if it were broken or lost! But it’s also generally considered bad luck to buy your wedding ring on a Friday or to wear the ring before the actual wedding ceremony takes place.

The rings, of course, take on whatever personal meaning you give them. A beautiful concept, embraced by the early Egyptians as well as ancient cultures around the globe, holds the ring to be a symbol of eternity. The ring has no beginning and no end, thus manifesting perfect love for a lifetime…and beyond.

Your Wedding Theme

Whether it’s a traditional, formal or off-the-beaten-track wedding, you’re putting the whole event together yourself by planning its every phase. These days, with so much available on the Internet, it’s easy! All you need is some time and a clear idea of the feeling you want to get across.

Start with a theme and you’ll have a coherent image you can use throughout the entire wedding. You may be surprised, in fact, how potent just a word or concept can be, once applied as your marriage theme.

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Love angels, for example? What could be more perfect than finding ways to incorporate angels in every phase of your wedding?

From the flowers to the guest favors to the vows, you can find a way to carry out the theme through the entire event. Is it to be a casual wedding of two Renaissance types? The Renaissance theme is compatible with the wedding ritual, and makes for an unforgettable event.

Getting married on February the fourteenth? Hearts and flowers are perhaps the most traditional and best beloved of all wedding themes!

When you’re planning your wedding, save time to choose the music with care. Get together with whoever is providing the music and talk about the right pieces for the two of you. There is nothing that sets the tone like music, and your wedding music will live in your memories for the rest of your lives.

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The rings, the vows, the wardrobe…all the choices you must make to create an intimately personal expression of your love, are made so much easier by following a theme. But the idea behind it all is what counts.

You can choose one word to describe the spirit you wish to be your wedding, as if the coming together of two hearts creates a separate entity with one quality.

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Is it joy? Is it contentment? Is it a giddy, bubbly, mirthful adoration? Pick a word or a phrase and keep it in mind. It’ll tie everything together and make the experience more perfect. And your wedding theme can become a foundation throughout your marriage.

For your wedding.

For each other.

For your life.